Truth be told, I’m dreading the 23 hour flight with a toddler
Fun stat: About 90% of the world’s countries are in the Northern Hemisphere — around 165 countries. Only about 32 countries are in the Southern Hemisphere.
This means for us Aussies, we have to travel far to tick a few off the list — and to see things like a full-sized Union Jack flag. The British Empire really wanted to send their convicts as far away as possible.
"Why yes, the other side of the planet will do, sir."
"...Are you sure there isn’t somewhere even farther?"
(Pause) "No, that’s it. That’s as far as it gets, sir."
Travelling from Sydney to Edinburgh, with a layover in Dubai, takes around 23 hours and 15 minutes — a full day in transit. Having spent many full days with a toddler, I suspect it will feel more like three full days in one.
At 18 months, Lark is young enough to travel on our lap, shaving a couple of thousand dollars off the family holiday. She travels exceptionally well on the 1h 45m flight between Sydney and Launceston: two full bottles of formula, a bottle of Ribena water to help with her ears, a teddy bear that must be dizzy from "round and round the garden" marathons, piggies that constantly visit the market, eat roast beef, and go "weeeee" all the way home. The Eency Weency Spider now has guns of steel from all that spout climbing and rain swimming.
Throw in some cheese and crackers, an empty takeaway tea cup and lid, Bluey on repeat, and snacks all over the floor everywhere — and we must be having so much fun because the time flies faster than the pilot can say “cabin crew, prepare for landing.”
How on earth am I going to keep this momentum up for 23 full hours?
The first leg is 14 hours, taking off at 6 am AEST and landing at 2 pm.
Lark should sleep for at least three of those hours, if we’re lucky.
We’ll be desperate for a place to run around and stretch our legs in Dubai. (Are there any playgrounds there?)
Then comes the witching hour on the Edinburgh leg: 7 hours 55 minutes.
Lark, like most children, gets pretty grizzly at the end of the day when she's tired. She’ll fall into a deep sleep once she gets there, but boy does she fight those ZZZs like Karen fighting a manager at the Bunnings returns counter.
How to keep a toddler entertained on a long-haul flight?
Activity bags: Small toys, colouring pencils, and favourite books (I’ll consider it a win if the person in seat 54C says "moo" when I say "cow." on the third read)
Download shows: Load up her favourites with toddler headphones. (If you’ve seen all 154 episodes of Bluey at least five times and still laugh at Lucky’s Dad’s Pass the Parcel rules, the creators are doing it right.)
Snacks, snacks, snacks: Healthy and interesting is key.
Wrap up little gifts: Sticker books, mini animals, little cars, handed out every couple of hours.
Aisle surfing: Walks up and down when seatbelt signs allow.
Comfort items: Blankets, favourite soft toys — anything sleepy and familiar.
Dress for sleep: Comfy onesie and layers. If small enough, a bassinet can be a game changer.
Low expectations, lots of cuddles: Accept the mess and imperfection. Bring the patient, cuddly vibe.
Important jobs: Lark loves to "help" — she reliably points to Coke Zero when asked to find Daddy’s drink on the menu.
Take shifts: Tag-team parenting to rebuild patience.
🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞
Time will tell
Only 17 more sleeps until we embark on our big overseas adventure. Luckily, I have to move house, an interstate work trip, a birthday party with friends, a trip to Tassie, a family get-together, and an election to get through first. So, there are plenty of distractions to ease the dread.
All I can say is: thank goodness for the democracy sausage.
(And someone really needs to tell Karen to eat before standing in that returns line.)